We stand in the back of the hall as the children troop in. Big ones, little ones. Straggly hair, cropped hair, curls… the adults surge forward to choose and soon there is just one child left, a little girl sitting on the floor. She is thin as a string bean and her sleeve is ragged and damp – like she’s been chewing it.1939. War has broken out – hundreds of children are evacuated to the countryside to keep them safe from the bombs raining down on the cities. Wrenched from her family in the East End and sent more than a hundred miles away, seven-year-old Pearl Posner must adapt to a new life away from everything familiar.
Vivienne didn’t ask for an evacuee child. In fact, she’s not sure her heart can take it. So many years, so many disappointments… Vivi’s ability to feel love left her the day she learned the truth about her husband Edmund, and when she made the worst decision of her life and left her cherished sister to her fate. But like it or not, Pearl is here to stay, and what with the rumours about what’s happening to children in mainland Europe, it might be the last safe place for her.
As Pearl and Vivi learn how to live together, they discover that they have a connection that runs more deeply than they could ever have guessed – from before Pearl was born, and deep into Vivienne’s past. And will it be Pearl – the little girl who says so little and sees so much – who forces Vivi to finally confront what happened in her marriage… and to the long-lost sister she loved so dearly and let fall so far, just when she needed Vivi most?
Many thanks to Bookouture via NetGalley for my copy of When I Was Yours to review and to Sharon for having my review on the blog.
When I Was Yours is the third book from Lizzie Page centred around women and their experiences of war. This book is slightly different in that it has a dual timeline focusing on one woman’s experiences of both World Wars. I thought this was an interesting slant to war time fiction as normally books in this genre focus on one war over the other. Admittedly it did take me until the 25% mark to really get stuck into the story but once I passed this point I thought the book really found its footing and took off. For the first quarter I thought things jumped around an awful lot and I couldn't work out where it was going. There seemed to be an awful lot of unnecessary description which didn't move the story forward or reveal too much as to what the actual story was going to be about. I couldn't determine the common thread that would join the two strands of the storyline together but that all changed and I was glad I kept going as When I was Yours turned into a fascinating read and gave the reader a deep insight into the life of Vivi.
If one was to judge this book on the cover and blurb alone you would be forgiven for thinking it was based upon a little girl's participation in the evacuation of young children from London during World War Two due to the threat of bombing raids. It soon became apparent that this wasn't the focus although Pearl does feature heavily throughout the book as she has such an affect on Vivi and she is the catalyst and connecting factor that brings about change for Vivi. I hope people do not pass this book over thinking it was another run of the mill wartime story for it is so much more than that and Lizzie Page has done a wonderful job of bringing her characters and the story to life.
Each chapter alternates between World War One and World War Two and once the reader becomes aware of this, and after the first quarter as I have said when the book settles into its rhythm, you do become engaged with and concerned for the welfare of Vivi and her family. Vivi was a very complex character and as we see where she is during the late 1930's and early 1940's we question how she has come to be in a loveless marriage to childhood sweetheart Edmund. All through the book I could tell she was haunted by something or even several things in her past that affected how she lived her life. I was desperate to know what had happened to her to make her a woman who seemed in fear almost of Edmund. She didn't seem to be able to stand up for herself and it was as if she was just merely existing from day to day with no sense of real purpose in her life. With the arrival of Pearl from London she finds an objective to keep her going. It was almost as if Pearl replaced the hole in her heart due to the absence of the much longed for family which she believed would pull herself and Edmund together.
Edmund was a very cold and aloof character and I thought Vivi was always tiptoeing around him and doing her best to please him. I couldn't fathom why she didn’t just up and leave him despite it being frowned upon at the time. Looking to the past may very well provide us with the answers but this was not to be an easy road to travail and I thought the manner in which the story progressed as in having the dual time line showed us there were many reasons for the position Vivi found herself in. I think I preferred the chapters set during WW1 as they provided a very different insight into Vivi and they were necessary to show us what had happened to her to make her into this person who couldn't seem to escape the shadows of the past and break free from a marriage that was clearly doing her no good in terms of self esteem and strength.
It is only as we near the conclusion that I felt everything was coming full circle and the chapters during WW2 began to make sense. At times I thought nothing much was happening and that there was just detail regarding Vivi and her neighbour Mrs. Burton as they do their bit in the Women's Voluntary Service or else there were just chapters concerned with how Pearl was getting on. Where really this story wasn't about her although she does have a pivotal and vital role to play. But as things become clearer I was racing through the final chapters to see would resolution, forgiveness and acceptance be found and would all the innumerable questions I had be supplied with definitive answers?
Vivi during WW1 was a very different person from the person we meet over twenty years later. I wouldn't say she was strong and independent and someone who knew her viewpoints and wasn't afraid to express her opinions. Between her and her sister Olive I think Vivi was the one who played it safe. Who never wanted to upset anyone or bring confrontation upon herself. She seemed to follow the crowd and do what was expected of her. Whether that was allowing her to follow her heart or not it didn't seem to matter. I desperately wanted her to go with the flow, to break out of the mould of convention she had surrounded herself with just like Olive seemed to do. But Vivi appeared to be too stiff upper lip so to speak and because she couldn't or wouldn't defy what was expected of her maybe that changed the course of her life.
If she had been more free spirited perhaps she would not have been shackled by Edmund. In my mind she made wrong choices at every fork in the road and although the loyalty and duty she felt to her father and Aunt and Uncle were to be admired she could have been like Olive and didn't give a jot for what people thought of her. She made choices that pleased other people not herself and as it said in the book times have to change but not by themselves - people have to change, it's people who have to change the times. But did Vivi have the ability to do this or was she too caught up in the past brooding over the one thing she could have altered but chose not to at the time and certainly couldn't later instead of focusing on what she could achieve now?
Following Vivi and Olive's experiences during The Great War as they worked as FANYS: First Aid Nursing Yeomanry was intense and as always with Lizzie Page the detailed provided was very well researched. The constant threats and danger were always apparent and it was evident that what the women saw and lived through during their time of service deeply affected them. So twenty years later Vivi cant believe that the same thing is happening again. So much loss, devastation and heartbreak is about to be unleashed again but this time she cannot serve. But yet I sensed there was several things that had happened in her time in France which she had not had any resolution for and maybe now was the time when she can confront what has eaten away at her.
At times I found Vivi to be a very frustrating character and I didn't always like her whereas Olive was someone who threw caution to the wind. She was a daredevil, fearless and ambitious but yet there were signs that she wasn't always comfortable in her own skin. That she would rather be at home with the bohemian set of people she had become involved with instead of on the battlefields witnessing unspeakable sights. I think she would rather have her life continue the way it was and that she could indulge her passion for art. Instead her experiences made her more wild and reckless and a chasm between herself and Vivi grew. I don't think Vivi ever truly understood Olive or was she just closing her eyes in an attempt to not see what was right before her?
When I was Yours is an excellent read and one which I think would be an ideal for a book club as there is so much that could be debated and discussed. The characters are all complex and flawed even more so after their varying experiences of war. I loved the contrast between the two wars as it really allowed you to get inside the head of Vivi in order to gain a deeper understanding of her although you mightn't always agree with her ways of thinking or her actions. With the longer timeframe for the story it allowed Lizzie to explore more than just a snapshot of life which all too often we are only given in books set during this time period and I think the book was all the better for it. There are numerous issues dealt with throughout the book and it was good to see themes ad emotions outside the realm of Vivi herself being explored.
With the Easter holidays fast approaching I think this certainly a book that you should pick up and read and lose yourself in for a couple of hours. Lizzie Page is a real talent and I'm excited to see what she has in store for us next.
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