Festive Fun with... Jason Cobley

Next up it's my pleasure to welcome author Jason Cobley for this latest Festive Fun with... feature.  

Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I live in Warwickshire with my wife, daughter, two rabbits, dog, and a huge mortgage. I’ve been a teacher since I left university many moons ago and I’m currently the Head Teacher of a school in an SEMH hospital. ‘A Hundred Years to Arras’ is my first proper novel, published by Unbound.

What are you most looking forward to this Christmas?
I always say a smile and a mince pie. That’s all I want – for the family to be happy, for my wife to get the tree she wants again and to be able to get it in and out of the house without shedding too many needles. It bungs up the hoover and gets in the dog’s paws.

Do you have any favourite family Christmas traditions? 
Getting up before it’s light, sitting on the sofa taking turns to unwrap presents, then tripping over all the tat for the rest of the day whilst nobody bothers to pick it up or put it away; running out of bin bags to shove the piles of wrapping paper into; eating a massive dinner at lunchtime; lamenting the fact that Dr Who isn’t on Christmas Day anymore.

What is your best Christmas memory?
Putting the tree in the recycling every year. Actually, taking my mother out for Christmas dinner the year before she died is the best. Glad I did that.

Describe your ideal Christmas
Just to see my parents again and them not moan about my wife’s cooking would be good enough for me. Christmas is never about me, to be honest. I get more out of it by seeing my wife and daughter happy with the day.

If you could choose one person, dead or alive, to celebrate a one time special Christmas with, who would you choose and why?
I don’t have any special craving to spend time with anyone other than those in my life right now, so it would always be with family. Reliving the Christmas morning when I was a kid, coming down and finding I had the 1977 Six Million Dollar Man Annual in my stocking would be worth having again. That simplicity of Christmas as a child would be worth having back, just once. Plus, Mam and Dad would be there.

What is your favourite festive book of all-time?
Having taught it and read it a squillion times, I still never get tired of A Christmas Carol. It did need tighter editing, but it’s still brilliant and simply is Christmas. Dickens knew what he was doing.

What Christmas book would you like to see turned into a film?
I actually can’t think of one! Maybe I’ll write one and it could get adapted next year!

If you could spend Christmas with any fictional character, who would you choose and why?
The Doctor. We’d hop in the Tardis and sample Christmases throughout the centuries, reuniting families and spreading a bit of magic.

Do you have a favourite Christmassy cover?
Marillion’s cover of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ is pretty good. Oh, I see what you mean. 

Do you have any Christmas book traditions?
I’m pretty gutted if I don’t get at least one book for Christmas. I like people, if they’re going to give me a book, to pick something they think I might like rather than me give them a list. I won’t do Christmas lists. I don’t like the idea of telling people what to buy me, it seems selfish. But if I get a book for Christmas, I have to sit and start reading it that afternoon – it’s somehow not quite the same if I wait until Boxing Day.

What 3 books would you love Santa to have in his sack for you?
Well, although I don’t like giving out lists, Sarah Moss’s new one ‘The Fell’ needs to be in my possession. I loved her last two. From this year’s Booker list, I do want to read ‘Bewilderment’ by Richard Powers and ‘The Promise’ by Damon Galgut, so I wouldn’t object if they were under the tree.

What is your favourite Christmas song?
Marillion’s cover of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’!!!

What is your favourite Christmas film?
‘Die Hard’. It’s a cliché but it’s true. I have to watch it every Christmas. It’s an annual tradition. And yes, it is a Christmas film. It’s about the true spirit of Christmas – bringing a family together, a big cuddly toy, foiling a robbery, that sort of thing.

And finally, what are your hopes for 2022?
I would like my novel ‘A Hundred Years to Arras’ to get a little bit of recognition. I know that sounds selfish, but my heart and soul is in it and I just want as many people as possible to read it. Oh, and winning the Booker Prize would be nice too.

Seriously, I’d just like my wife and daughter to stay healthy and happy. The dog too. Not the rabbits – they’ve had their day, I reckon.

Quick-fire questions

Roses or Quality Street? Quality Street. The purple ones and the green triangles. No one eats the toffees.
Mince pies/Christmas cake or Yule log? Mince pies. Christmas cake just tastes like a bit of wet road. Yule log is just expensive swiss roll.
Turkey or ham? Turkey.
Brussel sprouts or roast parsnips? Parsnips. Sprouts are rank.
Gravy or cranberry sauce? Both. What sort of question is that?
Fake or real Christmas tree? It has to be real. For thirty years, my wife has insisted we get a real tree every single year. For thirty years, I’ve said it’s a waste of money and makes a mess. For thirty years, I’ve lost the argument every year.
White or coloured lights? White. I don’t live in Vegas.
Giving or receiving presents? Giving. I don’t really like anyone spending their money on me, to be honest. Unless they want to buy my book. All I need is a smile and a mince pie!

Website: https://jmcobley.wordpress.com 
Twitter: @JasonMCobley