I regret Sulking
I was buzzing with words, thoughts and ideas. I was on a whirlwind of creativity, story after story after story were spilling out. My mind was overflowing and I tried my best to keep up. The dynamism of my fellow writing friends and classmates had me productive to a level that I thought I’d never have a dry well again. But I did and not in the way I thought.
I started a new story. The character, Michal was Polish and living in Ireland with his wife. He and I were getting on well, the connection flowing until he stopped up without warning. Nothing came from him, no whiff or hint of what was next, he had disappeared.
I wondered why, I asked the questions, I re-read what I had but I was without inspiration. Yet I knew it wasn’t me, it was Michal.
So I went about my business. I painted bedside lockers, the main bathroom, cleared the garden, and baked, everything I usually keep putting off got sorted. In fact, I enjoyed my new found freedom so much from not being at the beck and call of words, I revelled in this me time.
Michal came knocking one night as my eyes were closing. A small whisper, a suggestion, and I’m ready now moment. I dismissed it, I wasn’t ready. I had a baby’s crochet blanket to finish I told him. Truthfully, I was sulking. He abandoned me and now wanted me to tell his story, I wasn’t having it.
Yes of course I felt guilty, so a couple of days later I opened my laptop and sat down with Michal in my head.
His story was so sad, truly heart-breaking, no wonder he couldn’t share before now. As I typed the words, my own heart filled with sadness at how his life turned out. I finished the story and thought about it. My silliness had gotten in the way of a character unburdening themselves.
This is what happens when we writers create worlds. Our characters are showing and sharing what they get up to and I must remember it is they who play the tune not me. No more sulking, I will be ready when they are and remember to thank them for picking me to tell their tale.
Mary T Bradford has been writing mainly short stories for a number of years now and has enjoyed success with her fiction in many magazines, newspapers and anthologies both in Ireland and abroad. She decided to tackle a novel when one of her stories kept getting longer and the word count continued to climb and so ended up with My Husbands Sin. She has also branched out into writing plays and has seen her work shortlisted and performed.
When taking a break from writing and reading Mary loves to crochet or cross-stitch, crafts in general interest her. Living in County Cork, Ireland, she is married and is a mother of four children. Having overcome open heart surgery in 2008, Mary made the decision to dedicate more time to her writing as her children were almost raised and were starting to spread their wings. Family is important to her and her writing often reflects the ups and downs of life that all families go through daily.
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